Baldur’s Gate 3 is an RPG with an epic main story and tons of side quests to keep the party busy while they battle to save Faerûn. However, while there are a lot of emotionally impactful quests and moments throughout the game, there are also some really weird ones too. Somehow managing to blend the serious and the silly, there are some quests in BG3 that not even the highest perception score could have seen coming.
[Warning: The following article contains spoilers for Baldur’s Gate 3.]
While exploring the starting areas right through to the very end of Baldur’s Gate 3 there are strange and wonderful characters to meet and plenty of odd things to keep the party amused. From licking things that are better left alone to apple smuggling, there is a whole host of hilariously strange quests to find in BG3. Here are some of the weirdest quests for the party to seek out when saving the world gets a bit boring.
Baldur’s Gate 3 is imposing in stature and its best moments are truly memorable, but some early issues with scale suggest an uneven experience.
Deep in the Underdark there is a hidden area close to the Arcane Tower which is home to a group of kuo-toa, weird fish people who are worshiping a strange new god. This god is revealed to be BOOOAL, a hilarious, made-up version of Bhaal, and is actually a red cap tricking the gullible kuo-toa. What follows is a strange, unmarked quest to try to convince the strange fishy populous that they are being duped, which can result in either the death of them all or the player character becoming their new god.
Act 3 has a quest that sounds simple enough and is called “Find the Missing Letters;” however, with BG3, few things are as they seem. The party will have to get the aid of the courier pigeons to figure out what is happening to people’s post. After speaking with the pigeons and following their advice, the party will discover that the culprit is none other than Gale’s flying cat. Tara is a tressym who has been snacking on the pigeons while trying to find her wayward friend, and if you ask her nicely, she’ll agree to stop eating them.
The strange ox is a character who will appear in each act of BG3 and can be spoken to using speak with animals. First appearing in the Druid Grove, they will refuse to tell the party their secret, but can be met again at the Last Light Inn in Act 2. Here they can be persuaded to reveal more of their story in a hilarious homage to the Talking Cat from Rick and Morty, filling the character’s head with horrific visions of the ox’s deeds.
Things get even weirder, though, when the strange ox is encountered for a final time in Act 3, in a barn in Rivington. This time, the ox is happy to see the party and begs for their help getting into the city. If they agree, the ox will turn itself into an apple, because of course it does, cries “hail Cyric” and will happily sit in a character’s inventory until inside the city gates. Once the quest is complete, the ox/apple will reward the party with the Shapeshifter’s Boon Ring and will be available as an ally for the final battle.
The Ox is really a being called Zlorb who is a worshipper of Cyric, god of lies and trickery. Cyric at one point took over the domain of murder from Bhaal and was also the cause of the Spellplague after murdering Mystra.
Yurgir is an orthon, a powerful fiend, who Raphael asks the party to kill in Act 2. While Yurgir can be killed, there are two weird ways to complete this quest. Yurgir’s contract with Raphael is in the form of a song which explains the task he was set. One option is to help Yurgir, which will involve fighting the final dark justiciar in the Gauntlet who is hiding as a large group of rats. The second is to use the song to trick Yurgir into killing all his minions, his pet, and then himself.
One of the more important quests in Act 2 involves Halsin and lifting the Shadow Curse. To do this, the party must find Thaniel, which will involve finding a lute and playing a song to wake up Art Cullagh from his coma. Then, after guarding a portal for Halsin, the party can help him find Thaniel’s other self, who will want to play hide and seek. However, most of the time the party will end up fighting the child’s pretend parents and dog. All pretty standard stuff to lift a curse.
There are many bosses that can be defeated in BG3 without combat, but easily the strangest is Thisobald Thorm, the large innkeeper in Act 2’s The Waning Moon tavern. Thisobald will invite the party to drink with him and ask them to regale him with stories. That’s already pretty odd, but what dials this quest up to a new weird level is that the brew Thisobald is serving comes directly from his stomach. If all the necessary skill checks are passed, then eventually Thisobald will divulge information about Ketheric Thorm before exploding.
At the Circus of the Last Days there is a djinni called Akabi running a Spin the Wheel game. Akabi is cheating, which the party will spot with a perception check, and Akabi can be pickpocketed, allowing the jackpot to be won. However, doing so will make Akabu very annoyed and teleport the controlled character to the distant land of Chult. If provoked when first confronted with his cheating, another strange thing Akabi can do is turn the offending character into a sentient wheel of cheese for 20 turns.
Baldur’s Gate 3 players can win Akabi’s Jackpot by stealing the Djinni’s magic ring. This leads to a small side adventure with some useful rewards.
In the Gauntlet of Shar, the party can come across a displacer beast named Nessa who is fiercely loyal to the fiend Yurgir. The party can speak with Nessa and learn that her and Yurgir’s relationship is a little more intimate than one might assume. But that’s not the weirdest part.
Investigating the area will reveal a spider carcass coated in a strange substance. Licking this will provoke a reaction described as a tingling in the loins. The spider can be licked multiple times, which will cause companions to comment with some of the funniest dialog in BG3. It turns out Yurgir has been drugging Nessa with succubus spittle, so they can be more “friendly.”
When visiting the Circus of the Last Days and watching a performance of the brilliantly named Dribbles the clown, it soon becomes obvious to the party that something is amiss. It turns out Dribbles has been murdered, and his body parts are scattered all over Baldur’s Gate. Dribbles’ boss, Lucretious, offers a handsome reward for finding all of Dribbles’ body parts and bringing them back, so she can resurrect him and keep him in the circus.
Finally, one of the weirdest quests in Baldur’s Gate 3 also results in one of the best buffs in the game. In Act 1, the party can meet Abdirak, a priest of Loviatar, the goddess of agony. One member of the party can choose to let Abdirak hit them with a mace, while they either give exaggerated cries or demand he hit them harder. There is even the option to strip down to enhance the buff to the Performance checks, further adding to the strangeness of this slightly kinky encounter.
Developed and published by Larian Studios, Baldur’s Gate 3 is an upcoming role-playing game set to release in August of 2023. Players will create a character to embark on a large-scale journey and can do so solo or cooperatively with a friend. Combat is a turn-based style this time around.
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